Haunting: The Making of ‘He’s Dead’

After performances in London, Brighton and Bradford, Marikiscrycrycry reflects on the creation of their latest work – co-commissioned by New Queers on the Block

ASSUMPTIONS:

1. I am obsessed with mourning and melancholia, and how it directly affects the production of marginal values and identities (my own)
2. Choreography will always be more than the stringing together of moves and steps. It is also about the vibe and mood, the space and texture.
3. Marikiscrycrycry is an ontological project. I wanted to research over and over the production of Black and Queer aesthetic values.
4. The real work for me begins when we perform. That is when you really get to know what the work is, and what it is doing. And even after 8-show premiere, we’ve only been able to taste what it really is doing.

This is a personal reflective that tries to illustrate a thought process around where my work comes from.

Several summers ago, I was in Saitama, Japan and underneath the sweltering heat, concrete pillars and structure that reminded me of a feeling of Los Angeles, I walked a long walk from Jabulani’s apartment to Kawagoe Station. Inside, I bought the same three things from Lawson’s. Water, a bun, an espresso can, but nervously and anxiously… the air is/I am the coldest I’ve ever felt. The cashier smiles my shoulders bare and I tell myself to Nod. I nod. And then I tell myself to smile but for some reason my eyelids won’t lift. I feel like I am going to collapse. And I do. I wait very close to the edge of the platform.

I have a practice of telling myself to do one thing and doing the opposite. Choreography presents itself to me as a feeling, and my journey into Tokyo is an internal one, anxious. But I stand in an all-too-familiar way– 2Pac’s So Many Tears is playing on repeat and I begin work at the Archive*. I watch performances on repeat by Tatsumi Hijikata, Kuzuo Ohno, (especially their duet Rose-Couloured Dance) X, X, X, I hold in my hands the original strap-on from Hijikata’s jidjfisfs, and The Archival Master* takes a photo.

When I look towards materials from the Archive, I look for many things that I am concerned with knowing and practicing. What about this usage of time? These patterns in spaces? Subjects and moods, mirrors and textures–I document as many fractures of performance I can identify. And I try my own material with these adjacent questions, into phrases, practices, thought patterns, songs, traps. I start making He’s Dead.

‘The question is will I live? No one in the world loves me’

In 1995, 2Pac released seminal and vulnerable Me Against the World, and it broke many records at the time. He became the first artist to have an album debut at number one while being incarcerated**, the most successful solo Rap album despite being served a first-degree sexual assault charge. 2Pac was murdered shortly after his release from prison, amidst frenzy and spectacle around his life. All Eyez on Me. Was Tupac depressed? I have become obsessed with this question. And this question was a portal.

He’s Dead was originally commissioned as a solo-work and up until its premiere I had only ever made solos and duets underneath Marikiscrycrycry. In fact, Marikiscrycrycry was made as a project where I self-imposed limits on the kind of work I would make for a prolonged duration of time, focusing on solos and duets as a practice in researching aesthetics and ontological subject formation. Having a wide range of experiences working with many kinds of people, I decided to take the plunge into declaring for myself and for our partners that He’s Dead would be a group work. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.

I have witnessed and been a part of many group dance processes where the work being made is created in a studio, in collaboration with each other and over significant amounts of time. But because of funding limitations and infrastructural support for artists making group work independently in the UK, I decided this would not/could not be a possible way to make this work. It typically takes me a little more than a year to create all the material that I will end up editing into any work that I make, and so trying to find a year’s worth of funding for multiple performers, designers, and administrators was not possible. When I was commissioned by The Place to make BALLET on their graduating BA3 students, I had four weeks of unfettered support to create a work in collaboration with those students but I wouldn’t even be able to afford that, even with the amazing plethora of support I’ve received for He’s Dead. I decided to make most of the work alone, and then opted to teach the work onto the cast. And it was extremely difficult.

In the span of a one-week residency at the ICA, Chisenhale Dance Space, and The Place, we learned the entire 45-minute work, created the lighting design (with Montreal-based Jon Cleveland), fit the individualised outfits and looks (designed and styled by Mia Maxwell), shot the promotional images and four unique trailers (with Elise Rose and Kassandra Powell), completed the sound design (made by Joana Pope, Yummy Online, and JONI) completed two last-minute dramaturgical sessions with Martin Hargreaves. It was a whirlwind and whilst I am proud of that accomplishment, I would not hope to make a work so ambitious with that kind of timeline. We were so exhausted by the end and because of the brevity of the working process, a lot of the things I would’ve loved to spend more time doing just wasn’t possible given our tight schedule and limited resources.

But we did it. And I am so proud of all of the dancers, designers, and artists who I worked with and worked hard. Their commitment to my vision felt boundless and that is an immense responsibility to carry. I don’t know what the future holds for me, but I do not think I would like to go back to making solos just yet. I want to continue making group work, but knowing what I know now, this is no easy or simple undertaking. You need a lot of money, you need a lot of time, you need a lot of patience, and you need a lot of support, both structurally and emotionally.

I am still learning about the successes and failures of this way of working, but as my first group work, going into it largely in the dark, I think He’s Dead really holds its own. But next time, I want seven dancers, and the resources to have more than one-week of rehearsal time.